It is easy to subconsciously feel isolated, shameful, and even deserving of bad things when things don’t go right. Sometimes, you may be stressed and not even realize it. Perhaps we as humans can experience both the known and unknown stressors simultaneously. Subconsciously and consciously stressed: invitation for connection.
I’d say this includes more than just the “high-achieving” “perfectionist,” but rather human tendencies in general.
There is fear and shame around finances, fear about performance in the workplace, fear about being healthy and fit, fear about being a good _____ (partner, parent, friend, teacher, teammate, student, doctor, business owner, etc.), fear about feeling burnout as _____ (same role you filled in the last blank with), fear about getting hired, fear about balancing self-care vs. hardwork…. There is an endless supply of things to be stressed about.
Sometimes you get stuck. Stuck in this heavy fog. You are intelligent and critically thinking, you can look back at what went well and what mistakes were made. You don’t want to repeat the same errors again.
Mistakes… the shouldda, couldda, wouldda. Sometimes, you could have done something differently; other times, there is nothing different you could have done.
Both are really frustrating. The first can make you feel deserving of your stressed-out predicament because, well, after all, you could have done something about it. There are consequences for your actions, and you messed up. Time to pay the piper.
The second leaves you helpless. Maybe you blame yourself anyway; maybe you blame others. You just are out of control, and that is a scary place.
However, most of the time, you don’t even know this is happening. The crazy thing is you may not perceive any emotions or sensations at all. It is masked in normality. You read this, and you are like, “This is way off base”. Which may be the case, but I know it applies to more people than is initially realized.
Your body is so powerful and intricate, it carries way more than you realize in your being. You might have chronic aches and pains; you might have tense muscles and not even know. There is so much subconscious going on. Whether you are self-aware or not, your body adjusts and adapts to everything. I can’t help myself and gotta share this one nerdy and nervy tidbit:
Your nervous system is sending 11 billion bits per second to your brain. It is efficient in the subconscious. Your brain is only consciously processing around 50 bits per second. I am not a math genius, but that is about 100% of things being processed from our surroundings we are not aware of. So always be kind to yourself, especially when you’re feeling or acting off.
However, maybe you do relate and are self-aware of some stressors and perhaps have a mental list of your mistakes….you might even wish you could just “turn off” your brain at times and relax and go with the flow, but yet there is an endless stream of feedback from your mind. It’s in a constant state of thinking and analyzing, maybe into your dreams even!
Whoever you are,
It is okay.
My one invitation is simple:
Let’s build the self-awareness muscle. Connect with your body. It is the vessel that enables you to be a part of this life.
Instead of pushing on, pause when things seem tense, or maybe you feel more irritated than normal, check in with your body. The best way to start is to notice when things are “off” even slightly.
Don’t worry about fixing anything—nothing has gone wrong, you are not bad, you are not weak, you have not failed. This is about CONNECTION, not CORRECTION.
Check in with your body, what do you FEEL, somatically. Is there tension, movement, buzzing, restriction, pulsing, sharp, heavy, rolling, generalized, localized, diffuse, does it fluctuate or remain the same, etc?
Where and what are you feeling in your body? Don’t worry about what you “think” in your brain; just notice what you feel.
Notice it, it’s you.
Breathe into the sensations and allow it.
No need to find a solution or fix anything.
This is just time for you and you to get close and fully experience what being human is.
This is human.
You are human.
As humans it is easy to read something and plan on implementing it, but nonetheless seems to forget… or you just struggle to get out of your own way and look at things from an nonjudgmental point of view. If you would like help to accelerate your growth and up-level your experiences, such as embracing humanity, book a free call now.